The news just keeps getting better regarding Manu Ginobili. A couple of days after Gregg Popovich said his star shooting guard's rehab was ahead of schedule, Ginobili ramped up the stakes.

"I feel I'm very close," Ginobili said Friday morning. "I had a good practice yesterday. The ankle is not swelling. We're going to practice tomorrow and the day after. If it goes as well as yesterday, I think I'm ready to go."

The Spurs played Friday night against Utah. Asked specifically which game he targeted for his return, Ginobili replied: "The next one. I would like to play the next one."

The Spurs are back in action Monday night at Memphis. Ginobili has passed all the physical tests, including 5-on-5 work with his teammates.

Roger Mason was supposed to be a complementary piece when the San Antonio Spurs signed him as a free agent during the offseason. But Mason was the one drawing the compliments Friday night. Mason scored 29 points and the Spurs made 15 of 25 3-pointers to beat the Utah Jazz 119-94. "I wasn't going to go too crazy, but it was one of those nights," Mason said.

Toronto 101, Miami 95

I truly do apologize for making this so simple, but the difference between a Raptor loss to the Magic and a win over the Heat comes down to Jose Calderon's presence. Orlando's a better team than the Heat, there's no doubting that, and the rebounding issues remain, but Calderon just makes things happen for this team.

He moves everyone down a spot, too. Just eight points and seven assists (to one turnover) for Jose in the win, but his presence allows Will Solomon (five assists, two turnovers) to play fewer minutes and against lesser talent, while Roko Ukic doesn't play at all. Also, Andrea Bargnani (25 points at starting small forward, and he missed some bunnies) was mighty fine.

PG-rated words don't do Dwyane Wade's night (40 points, 11 assists, three turnovers, five blocks) justice. Honestly, the three turns might be the most impressive number of all. To have a hand in that much action, take as many risks with the ball as he has to, play nearly 43 minutes, and come out with just three turnovers? The man is back, people. 

Atlanta 91, Washington 87

The Wizards looked, and really they can't but help but have looked, rightfully despondent during this loss.

Another fine game (18 points and 11 rebounds) for Antawn Jamison, a fantastic contribution from Caron Butler (32 points, seven boards, four assists, three steals, just one turnover), and they still can't pull the win. Atlanta plays without Josh Smith, Al Horford, and Washington can't win. Atlanta's best player (TV's Joe Johnson) makes less than a third of his shots, and the Wizards are 1-8. No fun.

This isn't to say that Washington had no chance in this. They could have pulled the win off with better shot selection and a more focused effort on the boards from both interior and wing-types.

Heaps of bad shots, then the Hawks out-rebounded this lot by a 58-40 margin, and Mike Bibby seemed to have a little extra push in his 30-year old calves. Bibby was nailing shots from all over, even a few Tim Hardaway-esque turnaround jumpers, and Marvin Williams' late-game three-pointer (a bad shot, really) sealed it for the Hawks.

Portland 116, Chicago 74

Sorry for taking away from Portland's fabulous night, but have you seen any team (outside of the SuperSonics/Thunder) play as poorly as Chicago did on Wednesday night over the last year or three?

That was a miserable effort, with miserable planning, miserable movement, shot selection, attitude, and coaching, and executing. And inspiration. And as Goathair noted, "Aaron Gray is starting."

On the sunny side, how giddy is everyone about Greg Oden (11 and 10 with three blocks in 17 minutes) right now?

Minnesota 102, Philadelphia 96

Here's a bit of a shocker. The Minnesota Timberwolves were averaging about 26 points per quarter over the first three quarters of this game, and in the fourth quarter Randy Wittman's team came through with ... 26 points!

You can't blame me for waiting for the bottom to fall out from Minnesota's fourth quarter offense, as it has all season. Al Jefferson just had it going, though. The team got to the line, handled Philadelphia's 31 points (with several tough makes from Andre Miller and Elton Brand going in) just fine, and pulled out an admirable win.

Also, it is as if Mike Miller has become the fourth option on a 60-win team, and he's just doing it all. Sadly, for a team that will be lucky to win half that, BUT THIS IS NOT THE POINT. 10 points, 10 boards, six assists, a couple of steals for Miller; who didn't see the ball much but still nailed a game-clinching three-pointer toward the end. Craig Smith and his knee brace also contributed 21 points.

Utah 105, Milwaukee 94

You just want to strangle the Jazz sometimes, though not in the way Harry Anslinger intended.

You see Andrew Bogut barely able to get up and down the court, he's so winded, and yet he gets the ball in the post against Carlos Boozer. Two dribbles and a move into the paint for the jump hook, one that's obviously going to fall about 14 inches short, and Boozer ... pushes him. Just gives up on the play, shoves two arms into him, and Bogut gets to go to the line. Gah.

Luckily Boozer and C.J. Miles came alive in the second half, keeping the Bucks at bay while helping to overcome more than a few other defensive brain freezes. Boozer had 20 and 11 in 34 minutes, none of his shots were blocked (so there), and Miles' smooth touch (love how his shots sometimes bounce softly around the rim) came through with 25 points in 29 minutes.

On top of that, Andrei Kirilenko (16 points, seven rebounds, three assists, two turnovers, five steals and four blocks in 29 minutes) partied like it was 2004, and that's always fun.

Detroit 96, Cleveland 89

Sorry for denigrating a great win, but a lot of you saw it ... the Pistons took bad shots. And they went in! Went in = win!

Rasheed Wallace (21 points on 12 shots, 15 rebounds) was obviously hot early on and kept it up, Allen Iverson could have probably scored 40 against Cleveland's miserable backcourt defenders, and the Pistons refused to give up after an iffy start.

I just don't feel as if this win was anything to build on. It does lead you to believe that, with Mo Williams, Delonte West and Daniel Gibson working the perimeter, the Pistons should be a pretty solid favorite against the Cavaliers should they meet in the playoffs.

Of course, this depends on the Pistons giving up again, defensively, as they often do in the postseason. Nothing of the sort happened tonight, LeBron James had an impossible time trying to turn that corner, and though he still managed 25 points on 21 shots (Williams had 25 as well), Detroit was in charge.

A great game, and I made fans of neither team happy with that recap. So it goes.

Dallas 96, Houston 86

I didn't see a lot of this, Jeff Van Gundy left to his own devices can be a very frustrating thing, so I'll have to let Matt Moore have the opening salvo:

"It's not that the Mavs aren't good. It's that they're not lethal in any respect. They're painfully above average. Meanwhile, I don't know how many more of these ‘This Rockets team is the one!' letdowns I can take."

One must add that everyone should be enjoying Jason Terry's little renaissance. 31 points tonight, he's nearly two points above his scoring average from last season, and he's been killing it for the last two weeks. Still can't guard anyone, but for someone who thinks that Terry's 2004-05 turn was about as unappreciated as turns go (with this one acting as the most appreciated), this has been fun to watch.

Los Angeles Clippers 108, Oklahoma City 88

I'm not sure I've ever seen a 20-point winner play this poorly, but that's the fun of watching the Clippers.

First off, Cuttino Mobley (23 points) was great, especially finishing around the rim. Chris Kaman was active and interested and saw the floor well on both ends (25 points, 14 rebounds, six assists, one turnover, four blocks ... maybe a career night?), and Al Thornton (20 points on 14 shots) was terrific.

But Baron Davis is still wearing cement shoes to go with the concrete that's all around, and in his head. 5-15 shooting, he can barely get off the ground, and this somehow doesn't seem to stop him from chucking. Ricky Davis missed all five of his shots off the bench, and Tim Thomas missed six of seven attempts. The Clippers shot just 13 free throws all night, and it isn't hard to see why. The guys who are supposed to put the other team in the penalty can't seem to step inside 20 feet.

Good thing the Thunder are/could be historically bad.  

Sacramento 105, New Orleans 96

Here's the tradeoff that Hornet GM Jeff Bower seemed to sign off on:

He'd willingly ignore New Orleans' startling lack of depth at positions like center and point guard, look past the team's offensive shortcomings, because the addition of someone like James Posey means that the defense (5th in the NBA last year) would be that much better. Even though Posey's a bench guy on this team, and he has issues guarding shooting guards at this point in his impressive career.

And while I don't agree with the move -- Posey's great and the Celtics are going to miss him but the Hornets DON'T NEED HIM -- it can't possibly be a swing and a miss. Not with what sound defensive talent the Hornets already have.

And then the team gives up 123 points per 100 possessions to the Sacramento Kings, playing without Kevin Martin. At home.

The Hornets couldn't defend the paint, they weren't talking in transition, they were susceptible on the perimeter, they allowed easy penetration, and it was just a bum night from every imaginable angle. I can understand falling short because the team's scoring ability falls off the table like a Bruce Sutter toss after the top three, but getting yanked around defensively like this? Unacceptable. To the players, coaching staff, everyone.

Great game from the Kings, I don't mean to focus too much on the Hornets, but that's the way things go. Donte Greene (15 points on nine shots) was solid as a starter, John Salmons (29 points, six assists, and one turnover) was potent from all over, Bobby Jackson kept the effort flowing from off the bench, and the Kings registered 24 assists on 41 field goals. 

Denver 91, San Antonio 81

It does make sense. The Spurs have an incredibly-tough time creating shots, and the shots they do create are low, low percentage looks. Some of them are illegal, too, because it looks as if Michael Finley has to push off any time he wants to be allowed to shoot a basketball after dribbling it.

Denver didn't play a very good game, either. They scored about 101 points per 100 possessions, which is pretty lousy, and turned it over on 22 percent of the team's possessions. But they did play the Spurs, in Denver, in November, and the Spurs didn't have Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili.

San Antonio rookie George Hill had another nice one with 20 points on 11 shots, and Tim Duncan (who contributed 13 points) had six assists, but San Antonio has 11th men shooting 6th man levels of shots from the floor, and that's just not going to work.

Each weekday morning, BDL serves up a handful of NBA-related stories to digest with your Crispix. At least for now. We'll see how long this lasts.

Kyle Hightower, Orlando Sentinel: "Who said Polish guys can't jump? In a discussion with fellow Magic European-import Mickael Pietrus (originally from French Guadeloupe), Polish-born Marcin Gortat boasted after a recent practice his ability to dunk from the free-throw line — like Julius Erving. Doubtful of his skills, Pietrus bet Gortat an unspecified sum that he could, drawing a full post-practice audience that included several barefoot players and even Coach Stan Van Gundy. With a full-court run-up, the 6-11 Gortat successfully pulled off the dunk twice after the first one was disputed by Pietrus, who questioned his takeoff point. Said Gortat, as he walked into the locker room mobbed by teammates: 'I'll take my payment in Euros.'"

Jonathan Feigen, Houston Chronicle: "A day after Rockets guard Tracy McGrady said, 'Until further notice, I’m going to have to shut it down,' he was running through practice as if he never felt a shot of pain in Monday’s second half. McGrady said he was not certain he would play tonight against the Dallas Mavericks, but the chances have improved as much as his knee. He said he was 'hopeful' he could play, called the MRI that was planned and canceled 'not necessary' and did not describe himself as likely to stop playing entirely."

Jimmy Smith, The Times-Picayune: "Hornets All-Star guard Chris Paul has been surpassing records and milestones as fast as autumnal leaves fall, and each time he collects a steal in the next 12 games, he draws closer to the NBA mark for thefts in consecutive games. The record is held by former San Antonio Spurs guard Alvin Robertson, who had 105 consecutive games with a steal from Nov. 6, 1985, to Dec. 29, 1986. Paul ranks second with at least one steal in 93 games in a row. He passed Michael Jordan (77) in the final weeks of last season, and looks to build on the streak in tonight's game against the Sacramento Kings at the New Orleans Arena. Through nine games this season, Paul has 27 steals — an average of three per game — both best in the NBA."

Don Seeholzer, St. Paul Pioneer Press: "When it comes to shooting the ball, Mike Miller has a green light. More often than not this season, though, he has decided to proceed with caution. Timberwolves coach Randy Wittman would like to see that change, even if it means being a little less unselfish. After watching Miller take a season-low four shots, and make three, Sunday night in the Wolves' 90-84 loss at Denver, Wittman said he would like his shooting guard to start pulling the trigger more often. 'Sometimes you get into turning down shots to make the extra pass,' Wittman said Tuesday. 'Mike does all the right things, but at times he's got to be a little selfish, too, when he's got an open shot. I wouldn't want anybody else taking an open shot. Every time he shoots it, I think it's going in.'"

Mike Bresnahan, LA Times: "The NBA's all-time leading scorer has one word for Andrew Bynum — patience. Bynum has struggled with his shot and recently said he wanted to be more assertive once he got the basketball in the post. To paraphrase Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, it will happen in time. 'The offense is designed to spread it around, but if you're getting high-percentage shots in the post, they're of great value to a team,' said Abdul-Jabbar, in his fourth season as a Lakers' special assistant coach in charge of Bynum's development. 'It's a situation where he has to prove that he can deliver and then maybe the offense can look for him more than it is right now. He just has to be patient.'"

Ivan Carter, Washington Post: "Wizards forward Andray Blatche is in his fourth NBA season, yet the team continues to stress that he needs to get into better physical condition. Prior to last night's game, Coach Eddie Jordan was asked about Blatche's up-and-down play through the season's first seven games. 'We call it a dash and a flash but he's certainly not consistent right now,' Jordan said. 'From the time he got into the league, we've talked about his conditioning improving and he hasn't gotten to the point where it's where it should be, where he can sustain a high level of intensity and a high level of concentration.' Jordan said the team has created a modified workout program that has Blatche arriving for practice long before his teammates, in addition to added work in the weight room."

Ramona Shelburne, LA Daily News: "The buzzards aren't quite yet circling, but they might be making flight plans. That's what happens when a team opens the season 1-9, as the Clippers have. Every loss brings a handful of new phone calls from front offices around the NBA, wondering if they might be of any assistance in shaking things up. The Clippers generally tend to answer those phone calls and listen, but don't expect any major moves right away for two very important reasons. 'I think guys are honestly really committed to turning this thing around,' Clippers forward Marcus Camby said after practice Tuesday. 'We still feel like we have a chance to make the playoffs. It may seem bleak because of where we're at right now, but we still have 70-plus games to go.'"

Howard Beck, NY Times: "Jared Jeffries could be practicing in a week and back in the rotation soon. Jeffries received a positive report after his latest X-ray on Friday and said he expected to start running within days. Jeffries broke his left leg on the third day of training camp. 'I need to get another X-ray, and if it’s still healing the same way it is, with no pain the way it has been, then I should be good to go,' Jeffries said."

Paul Coro, Arizona Republic: "Suns coach Terry Porter planned to play eight or nine men per game this season but warned it would not be the same eight or nine. That has proven true, with him lately calling upon Louis Amundson and rookie Sean Singletary for important minutes. First-round draft pick Robin Lopez was the hailed big-man acquisition, but he has fewer appearances than the energetic Amundson. Singletary seemed bound for the NBA Development League when he was acquired in August, but Suns affiliate Iowa began camp without him Friday, when Singletary was running the Suns' point for the final six minutes of an overtime win at Sacramento. Suspensions and erratic rookie play from Lopez and Goran Dragic have given Amundson and Singletary the chances for which Porter told them to be ready."

Chris Tomasson, Rocky Mountain News: "If Nuggets center Nene doesn't make the All-Star Game, he won't complain. Nene is set to marry Lauren Prothe, of Fort Collins, on Valentine's Day, the day before the All-Star Game in Phoenix. Nene isn't listed on the All-Star ballot but could be named a reserve. 'I don't need to be thinking about that,' Nene said. 'This All-Star time, I'm going to be thinking about my wedding.'"

Kate Fagan, Philadelphia Inquirer: "It hasn't been a dream-like start for either the 76ers or up-and-coming backup guard Lou Williams. The Sixers are 5-5. Williams is shooting 35.7 percent from the field, 26.1 percent from the three-point line, and has 20 turnovers and 17 assists while averaging 9.3 points per game. 'I'm in a shooting slump,' said Williams, who signed a five-year, $25 million contract during the off-season. 'I guess that's what they call it. I've never been in one before. I think I got too caught up in my shot rather than creating things for my teammates. In seasons past, I opened things up for other people ... I have to get back to that.' Starting tonight at the Minnesota Timberwolves (1-8), the Sixers hit a valley in their schedule that includes four consecutive opponents with sub-.500 records. It is an ideal time for the Sixers to get above .500."

Frank Isola, NY Daily News: "Stephon Marbury's days as a Knick are drawing to a close, but the veteran point guard could survive until the new year. Knicks president Donnie Walsh has not given up on trading Marbury, who is scheduled to earn $21.9 million this season. Marbury is open to a buyout and has enlisted the help of the Players Association to negotiate with the Knicks. The two sides met last week, but no additional meetings are scheduled for this week, according to a person familiar with the talks. Walsh will not be rushed into making a decision, especially one that could cost the Knicks nearly $20 million. Another source believes that Marbury won't be released until Jan. 1 because Cablevision Systems Corp., which owns the Knicks, won't have to report the financial loss until 2009. A team source, however, insists that the decision to either trade or negotiate a buyout is Walsh's to make."

Utah 109, Phoenix 97

The Phoenix defense (pictured, above) was pretty worrying in this loss.

The Suns gave up 118.5 points per 100 possessions, and while I usually prefer to write "[the winning team scored] 118.5 per 100 possessions," Phoenix really let this happen. The Jazz are great, we know that they might be the best offensive team in the league when they're at full strength (and that'll happen sometime next month, righto?), but the Suns kind of took this one off.

Yes, they were playing on the second night of a back-to-back, taking on a pair of conference contenders in a row, but there's still no excuse for not getting out on shooters. Shooters parked only 17 feet from the hoop, no less.

The Jazz were without Deron Williams again, same with Mehmet Okur, but it hardly mattered as C.J. Miles (21 points on 13 shots; nice contract) and Carlos Boozer (21 points on 15 shots, a nice 15 rebounds) poured it in from all over.

Shaq? Not his best defensive effort, and it showed (-29) in the stat sheet.

Houston 100, Oklahoma City 89

A few things to take from this ...

Robert Swift started. He started and he played 25 minutes with six points and eight rebounds and two assists with two blocks and he started. Jokes aside, good news. Albeit three years too late.

Russell Westbrook needed 14 shots to score 14 points, he had more turnovers (three) than assists (two), and he may not ‘ave a clue, but he is the future. And he had five steals in 28 minutes.

Houston shot over 50 percent, Yao Ming hit for 19 points on just eight shots (with 12 boards and three blocks), and I can't help but really like this team.

San Antonio 86, Los Angeles Clippers 83

No, this isn't the same box score from Sunday night, and the Spurs pulled out another one. On the road. Without Manu Ginobili. Without Tony Parker. Bang on, guys.

The Clippers are just a bunch of vets, but not in a good way. 10 free throw attempts (making eight, as if that matters) in 48 minutes of play? Who does that?

Baron Davis, both in looking at the guy and watching his stats, is reminding of the Baron Davis that shot the Warriors out of the playoffs by Thanksgiving back in 2005-06. He took 17 shots on Monday, making five. He only got to the line twice, and made one of his freebies. Baron missed all eight of his three-point attempts. The Clippers can't score efficiently to save their lives (29th in offense, only ahead of the Thunder), and Baron's a huge reason why.

Los Angeles is in a conference that only lets you lose 37 games before you're out of the postseason bracket, and the Clips have already thrown up nine losses in 10 attempts. Things aren't looking good.

San Antonio at Los Angeles Clippers

The Clipper honeymoon appears to be over. The fans aren't happy with certain aspects of the franchise. The players don't seem to be happy, and haven't been since Elton Brand split, even while Marcus Camby was becoming a Clipper for next-to-nothing. And the impartial observer? Meh.

So this could be a real turning point, tonight. I don't think the Clippers will play past the third week of April, but games like this (at home, against a team missing its second and third-best players) could determine whether or not this squad has any interest in turning into a 40-win also-ran. If the interest isn't there, hello [heralded NCAA talent whose name I've yet to learn]!

The Spurs, meanwhile, want to win. That will never go away. Tim Duncan has a large collection of swords, so you can understand if people don't want to let him down.

San Antonio Spurs: 4-5, 85.6 possessions per game (29th-most in the NBA), 105 points per 100 possessions (16th), 107.9 points allowed per 100 possessions (23rd). New Lace Sleeves.

Los Angeles Clippers: 1-8, 92.3 possessions per game (12th), 96.3 points scored per 100 possessions (29th), 111.2 points allowed per 100 possessions (27th). Stranger in the House.

A look around the league and the web that covers it. It's also important to note that the rotation order and starting nods aren't always listed in order of importance. That's for you, dear reader, to figure out.

C: Sacramento Bee. Maloof Productions is partnering with reality icon Mark Burnett for a behind-the-scenes series called "Rebuilding the Kingdom" on all things Kings.
PF: FoodCourtLunch.com. Stephon Marbury says he'd like to join the Spurs. Well, wouldn't that be fun?
SF: The Blowtorch. Is Anthony Morrow a real person? Goatman investigates.
SG: ClipperBlog.com. Weren't the Clippers supposed to improve once the starters got back healthy?
PG: Basketbawful. Bucks forward Luc Richard Mbah a Moute is ... "a chaotic, abler humdrum."
6th: The Sporting Blog. Video of Sheed teaching Kwame and Walter how not to suck.
7th: Empty The Bench. Nothing catches the eye of Jordan more than sexy, well-shampooed hair.
8th: CelticsBlog. Kelly "The Cobra" Dwyer joins Celtics Stuff Live to talk a little basketball.
9th: dustinOcanalin. UNDRCRWN presents another world famous caricature tee. So nice.
10th: Cleveland Plain Dealer, via FH. LeBron James to fans: Stop whining about free Chalupas.

The BDL NBA Power Rankings combine two parts Chivas Regal with one part flippant observation to create the most unbalanced ranking possible, and to offer the least accurate look at the state of the NBA on a weekly basis. If you disagree with your team's spot, feel free to go crazy in the comments or spit venom via email.

1. Los Angeles Lakers — One always had the hint that Arron Afflalo was Los Angeles' kryptonite. The Lakers are now on pace to only win 72 games. The dream is over, people. What can I say? [KD]

2. Boston Celtics — Kevin Garnett: "You can look at our record, but we still have a long way to go." Um, not true, Kevin. Saturday's OT battle in Milwaukee was the Celtics' 68th game in the last 12 days. They're almost done. [JE]

3. Phoenix Suns — Things are too good. Something's going to happen. Steve Nash is going to rob something, or someone. Grant Hill is going to default on a loan. Shaq's going to turn out to be a bloody Bolshevik. They're going to break our hearts. You know it. I like their defense (14th), though. [KD]

4. Cleveland Cavaliers — "LeBron James scored 38 points, leading a second-half rally that gave the Cleveland Cavaliers their seventh straight victory ..." That has to be the Associated Press's go-to line. I bet they use it to pick up chicks at the bar. Also, "LeBronco James":

5. Detroit Pistons — It is a repudiation of all that is sane and civil that Kwame Brown is starting over Amir Johnson. At least Amir's per-minute stats are better. We'll always have the per-minute stats, Amir. Always. [KD]

6. New Orleans Hornets —I've watched the Bees play three or four times this season, and I still have no idea what to make of them. I am flummoxed. One quarter they're dominant, the next quarter they get pushed around a little bit and start playing the refs. Ranking them sixth seems too high and low at the same time. [JE]

7. Atlanta Hawks — Hey, remember when the Hawks were on pace to win 82 games? Man, those were the days. Back when shows had great theme songs and my dad had a neckbeard. [JE]

8. Houston Rockets — When I wrote "rusty bunch of geezers," I meant "tempestuous batch of all-world talents and Aston-driving basketball mercenaries, several of which boast a Victor Mature-like sense of cool and whimsy, even at their most droll." Obviously, both Noel Coward and Carl Landry are standing directly in back of me. [KD]

9. Portland Trail Blazers — The worst defensive team (29th) that nobody knows about ... wait, I'm sorry, did someone order a 7-footer with skills? [KD]

10. Orlando Magic — The Magic Men were the only squad in the league last season with a better record on the road (27-14) than at home (25-16), and we could be looking at a repeat performance. Their moms must suck at cooking. Sloppy Joes and crap like that. [JE]

11. Utah Jazz — One of these days, mister, they're gunna get the whole gang back together and, you wait. Yeah, you wait. Also, minus the Afghan Whigs t-shirt, Kosta Koufos looks like me from October 1994-November 1994. Then I got the haircut right. The skin took a while. [KD]

12. Philadelphia 76ers — It is beyond comprehension. You even take pictures of your hotshot free agent pickups in the uniform. Just go back to the old unis, already. Stop making this harder than it has to be. What would Steve Mix say? [KD]

13. Toronto Raptors — Calderon's out, and you know Darrick Martin is circling the parking lot, like a vulture, trying to guess which car is Will Solomon's.

(Everybody knows Will Solomon can't afford a car!) [KD]

14. Denver Nuggets — 25th in offense, 6th in defense. Yes, I'm back on that thing again. [KD]

15. New York Knicks — Actual "MSG Mic Check" with Coach D'Antoni Sunday night: "C'mon defense, let's go. Let's go guys! Go! Here we go, here we go, guys. Here we go! Here we go, here we go. Way to go, Zach! Here we go white, here we go white. Here we go white." Awesome. [JE]

16. Chicago Bulls — My girlfriend had to tell me to shave the thin little mustache, and she told me she knew exactly why I was growing it. [KD]

17. Miami Heat — Win, loss, win, loss, win, loss, coach was in CHiPs.

18. Milwaukee Bucks — "While the Bucks' 5-6 record isn't going to turn many heads in L.A. or New York, it's tough to complain given what they're up against: an obscene eight back-to-backs in the first month, 12 of the first 19 on the road, and seven games and counting without Michael Redd." Frank Madden. Boom! [JE]

19. New Jersey Nets — A young man blocks out harmful memories of weak ankles and significant events of his life. As he grows up, he finds a way to remember these lost memories and a supernatural way to alter his life and win two games over the Hawks. "The Harris Effect," starring Devin Harris. [JE]

20. Indiana Pacers — The Pacers are actually outscoring their opponents by two a game, which puts them at 13th in the NBA, which means they're better than their record. And yet, six years after it hit the internet, nothing's better than this record. [KD]

21. San Antonio Spurs — Monty Williams has been annoying his family for weeks, stepping outside of restaurants to check his voicemail, and driving circuitous routes in order to stay in cell phone range. He thinks the call is coming. He thinks Pop is going to need him. He's really not as deluded as you think. [KD]

22. Golden State Warriors — If you have five dollars and undrafted free agent Anthony Morrow has five dollars, undrafted free agent Anthony Morrow has more money than you. [JE]

23. Sacramento Kings — The Kings are horrible. The team is a mismatched batch of parts that shouldn't fit, couldn't fit, and (eventually) won't fit. The team competed like mad all last season. The squad's offense, while iffy, is at least innovative and trying new things. The team is fun to watch. The team entertains the fans. The team works hard. The team is injured. The team has no singular focus off the court. The team has a singular focus on the court. The team should be worse than it is. And you want to fire the coach of this team? [KD]

24. Dallas Mavericks — Sigh. [JE]

25. Charlotte Bobcats — At least three times this season, 68-year-old coach Larry Brown has told his team to stop playing like Laverne and Shirley. Funny line, except "Laverne and Shirley" was a situation comedy that ABC cancelled in 1983. Nine of Brown's players weren't born yet. [JE]

26. Memphis Grizzlies — Once again, it's time for Matt Moore's Griz Semi-Chub. Take it away, good sir ... "The best part about following the Grizzlies is that no matter the score, the fourth quarter will be exciting. They always seem to close the gap. The worst part about following the Grizzlies is that no matter the score, they're probably going to lose, often in profoundly frustrating ways." [JE]

27. Washington Wizards — You just get the feeling that if Chris Whitney were around, none of this crap would be going down. [KD]

28. Minnesota Timberwolves — See: Grizzlies, Memphis.

29. Los Angeles Clippers — This team doesn’t play to expectations, however small. This team cannot rebound, in spite of two guys who had double-figure boards last year. This team is full of mercurial, flighty guys who need coddling (players that were acquired with both coach and front office knowing that they were mercurial, flighty guys who need coddling), who instead receive stern lectures in the press as a result. This team has played at home, a lot. This team loses, a lot. And this team wants to keep its coach? [KD]

30. Oklahoma City Thunder — "PJ Carlesimo is definitely a great hire if you're looking for someone to lose games, alienate fans and insult your city. If not, though, you might want to go with a guy who players respect." Sound advice. Embrace the comments, people. [JE]