Orlando is once again shaping up like a team with a very strange habit: It plays better on the road than at home.

The Magic, who still look like contenders in the Eastern Conference, won a tough overtime game in Indianapolis on Friday night, then returned home Saturday and shot poorly during a loss to the Houston Rockets.

Orlando was the only team in the NBA last season with a better record on the road than at home, and it could be the same once again. The Magic will go into Monday night's game against Milwaukee with a 5-3 record at home and a 4-1 record on the road.

One of the reasons for their away-from-home success could be that they are an especially close-knit group of players who bond well during road trips.

Dwight Howard might be regarded as the best center in the NBA by the end of this season, but Yao Ming let him know that debate still has a ways to go before it's settled. Yao, Houston's 7-foot-6 All-Star, outplayed Howard in nearly every phase Saturday night, scoring 22 points and taking down 13 rebounds while carrying a tired Houston Rocket team to a 100-95 victory over Howard and the Orlando...

Twice, the Indiana Pacers challenged the NBA's leading shot blocker with the game on the line. Twice, they failed. Orlando center Dwight Howard swatted a potential game-winning shot at the end of regulation, then altered what would have been a game-tying shot in the closing seconds of overtime. He had 24 points, 17 rebounds and five blocks, and the Magic beat the Pacers 100-98 on Friday night.

Stan Van Gundy predicted at the morning shootaround that Toronto forward Chris Bosh would score 40 points against his Orlando Magic. The Magic coach turned out to be right -- and he still got to smile about it. Jameer Nelson, Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis had 22 points apiece as the Magic overcame Bosh's 40-point, 18-rebound night in a 103-90 win in a rematch of first-round NBA playoff foes.

Toronto 101, Miami 95

I truly do apologize for making this so simple, but the difference between a Raptor loss to the Magic and a win over the Heat comes down to Jose Calderon's presence. Orlando's a better team than the Heat, there's no doubting that, and the rebounding issues remain, but Calderon just makes things happen for this team.

He moves everyone down a spot, too. Just eight points and seven assists (to one turnover) for Jose in the win, but his presence allows Will Solomon (five assists, two turnovers) to play fewer minutes and against lesser talent, while Roko Ukic doesn't play at all. Also, Andrea Bargnani (25 points at starting small forward, and he missed some bunnies) was mighty fine.

PG-rated words don't do Dwyane Wade's night (40 points, 11 assists, three turnovers, five blocks) justice. Honestly, the three turns might be the most impressive number of all. To have a hand in that much action, take as many risks with the ball as he has to, play nearly 43 minutes, and come out with just three turnovers? The man is back, people. 

Atlanta 91, Washington 87

The Wizards looked, and really they can't but help but have looked, rightfully despondent during this loss.

Another fine game (18 points and 11 rebounds) for Antawn Jamison, a fantastic contribution from Caron Butler (32 points, seven boards, four assists, three steals, just one turnover), and they still can't pull the win. Atlanta plays without Josh Smith, Al Horford, and Washington can't win. Atlanta's best player (TV's Joe Johnson) makes less than a third of his shots, and the Wizards are 1-8. No fun.

This isn't to say that Washington had no chance in this. They could have pulled the win off with better shot selection and a more focused effort on the boards from both interior and wing-types.

Heaps of bad shots, then the Hawks out-rebounded this lot by a 58-40 margin, and Mike Bibby seemed to have a little extra push in his 30-year old calves. Bibby was nailing shots from all over, even a few Tim Hardaway-esque turnaround jumpers, and Marvin Williams' late-game three-pointer (a bad shot, really) sealed it for the Hawks.

Portland 116, Chicago 74

Sorry for taking away from Portland's fabulous night, but have you seen any team (outside of the SuperSonics/Thunder) play as poorly as Chicago did on Wednesday night over the last year or three?

That was a miserable effort, with miserable planning, miserable movement, shot selection, attitude, and coaching, and executing. And inspiration. And as Goathair noted, "Aaron Gray is starting."

On the sunny side, how giddy is everyone about Greg Oden (11 and 10 with three blocks in 17 minutes) right now?

Minnesota 102, Philadelphia 96

Here's a bit of a shocker. The Minnesota Timberwolves were averaging about 26 points per quarter over the first three quarters of this game, and in the fourth quarter Randy Wittman's team came through with ... 26 points!

You can't blame me for waiting for the bottom to fall out from Minnesota's fourth quarter offense, as it has all season. Al Jefferson just had it going, though. The team got to the line, handled Philadelphia's 31 points (with several tough makes from Andre Miller and Elton Brand going in) just fine, and pulled out an admirable win.

Also, it is as if Mike Miller has become the fourth option on a 60-win team, and he's just doing it all. Sadly, for a team that will be lucky to win half that, BUT THIS IS NOT THE POINT. 10 points, 10 boards, six assists, a couple of steals for Miller; who didn't see the ball much but still nailed a game-clinching three-pointer toward the end. Craig Smith and his knee brace also contributed 21 points.

Utah 105, Milwaukee 94

You just want to strangle the Jazz sometimes, though not in the way Harry Anslinger intended.

You see Andrew Bogut barely able to get up and down the court, he's so winded, and yet he gets the ball in the post against Carlos Boozer. Two dribbles and a move into the paint for the jump hook, one that's obviously going to fall about 14 inches short, and Boozer ... pushes him. Just gives up on the play, shoves two arms into him, and Bogut gets to go to the line. Gah.

Luckily Boozer and C.J. Miles came alive in the second half, keeping the Bucks at bay while helping to overcome more than a few other defensive brain freezes. Boozer had 20 and 11 in 34 minutes, none of his shots were blocked (so there), and Miles' smooth touch (love how his shots sometimes bounce softly around the rim) came through with 25 points in 29 minutes.

On top of that, Andrei Kirilenko (16 points, seven rebounds, three assists, two turnovers, five steals and four blocks in 29 minutes) partied like it was 2004, and that's always fun.

Detroit 96, Cleveland 89

Sorry for denigrating a great win, but a lot of you saw it ... the Pistons took bad shots. And they went in! Went in = win!

Rasheed Wallace (21 points on 12 shots, 15 rebounds) was obviously hot early on and kept it up, Allen Iverson could have probably scored 40 against Cleveland's miserable backcourt defenders, and the Pistons refused to give up after an iffy start.

I just don't feel as if this win was anything to build on. It does lead you to believe that, with Mo Williams, Delonte West and Daniel Gibson working the perimeter, the Pistons should be a pretty solid favorite against the Cavaliers should they meet in the playoffs.

Of course, this depends on the Pistons giving up again, defensively, as they often do in the postseason. Nothing of the sort happened tonight, LeBron James had an impossible time trying to turn that corner, and though he still managed 25 points on 21 shots (Williams had 25 as well), Detroit was in charge.

A great game, and I made fans of neither team happy with that recap. So it goes.

Dallas 96, Houston 86

I didn't see a lot of this, Jeff Van Gundy left to his own devices can be a very frustrating thing, so I'll have to let Matt Moore have the opening salvo:

"It's not that the Mavs aren't good. It's that they're not lethal in any respect. They're painfully above average. Meanwhile, I don't know how many more of these ‘This Rockets team is the one!' letdowns I can take."

One must add that everyone should be enjoying Jason Terry's little renaissance. 31 points tonight, he's nearly two points above his scoring average from last season, and he's been killing it for the last two weeks. Still can't guard anyone, but for someone who thinks that Terry's 2004-05 turn was about as unappreciated as turns go (with this one acting as the most appreciated), this has been fun to watch.

Los Angeles Clippers 108, Oklahoma City 88

I'm not sure I've ever seen a 20-point winner play this poorly, but that's the fun of watching the Clippers.

First off, Cuttino Mobley (23 points) was great, especially finishing around the rim. Chris Kaman was active and interested and saw the floor well on both ends (25 points, 14 rebounds, six assists, one turnover, four blocks ... maybe a career night?), and Al Thornton (20 points on 14 shots) was terrific.

But Baron Davis is still wearing cement shoes to go with the concrete that's all around, and in his head. 5-15 shooting, he can barely get off the ground, and this somehow doesn't seem to stop him from chucking. Ricky Davis missed all five of his shots off the bench, and Tim Thomas missed six of seven attempts. The Clippers shot just 13 free throws all night, and it isn't hard to see why. The guys who are supposed to put the other team in the penalty can't seem to step inside 20 feet.

Good thing the Thunder are/could be historically bad.  

Sacramento 105, New Orleans 96

Here's the tradeoff that Hornet GM Jeff Bower seemed to sign off on:

He'd willingly ignore New Orleans' startling lack of depth at positions like center and point guard, look past the team's offensive shortcomings, because the addition of someone like James Posey means that the defense (5th in the NBA last year) would be that much better. Even though Posey's a bench guy on this team, and he has issues guarding shooting guards at this point in his impressive career.

And while I don't agree with the move -- Posey's great and the Celtics are going to miss him but the Hornets DON'T NEED HIM -- it can't possibly be a swing and a miss. Not with what sound defensive talent the Hornets already have.

And then the team gives up 123 points per 100 possessions to the Sacramento Kings, playing without Kevin Martin. At home.

The Hornets couldn't defend the paint, they weren't talking in transition, they were susceptible on the perimeter, they allowed easy penetration, and it was just a bum night from every imaginable angle. I can understand falling short because the team's scoring ability falls off the table like a Bruce Sutter toss after the top three, but getting yanked around defensively like this? Unacceptable. To the players, coaching staff, everyone.

Great game from the Kings, I don't mean to focus too much on the Hornets, but that's the way things go. Donte Greene (15 points on nine shots) was solid as a starter, John Salmons (29 points, six assists, and one turnover) was potent from all over, Bobby Jackson kept the effort flowing from off the bench, and the Kings registered 24 assists on 41 field goals. 

Denver 91, San Antonio 81

It does make sense. The Spurs have an incredibly-tough time creating shots, and the shots they do create are low, low percentage looks. Some of them are illegal, too, because it looks as if Michael Finley has to push off any time he wants to be allowed to shoot a basketball after dribbling it.

Denver didn't play a very good game, either. They scored about 101 points per 100 possessions, which is pretty lousy, and turned it over on 22 percent of the team's possessions. But they did play the Spurs, in Denver, in November, and the Spurs didn't have Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili.

San Antonio rookie George Hill had another nice one with 20 points on 11 shots, and Tim Duncan (who contributed 13 points) had six assists, but San Antonio has 11th men shooting 6th man levels of shots from the floor, and that's just not going to work.

Each weekday morning, BDL serves up a handful of NBA-related stories to digest with your Nintendo Cereal System from Ralston-Purina. At least for now. We'll see how long this lasts.

K.C. Johnson, Chicago Tribune: "Larry Hughes started for the injured Luol Deng Wednesday, but Deng's sore left hamstring can't make the Bulls' glut of guards disappear. That's why the disenchantment Hughes expressed late Tuesday in Los Angeles, after averaging 18 minutes this season, could resurface. 'I don't want to play like this,' Hughes said. 'I'm not comfortable with 15-20 minutes. Something has to change.' It did, albeit temporarily. But Derrick Rose is the No. 1 overall pick, Ben Gordon is the team's leading scorer and Kirk Hinrich, currently injured, is the best perimeter defender. 'You have to understand that situation and I do,' Hughes said. 'We have a lot of guys at one position. Somebody has to come off the bench and you accept that role. But I'm not expecting 15-20 minutes, and I don't want to deal with that.'"

Mike Wells, Indianapolis Star: "Trying to defend stars such as LeBron James and Kobe Bryant affected Granger's offense. Or vice versa. Sometimes he struggled defensively if he focused too much on offense. That hasn't been a concern this season. Marquis Daniels is guarding the opponent's best perimeter player at the start of each game, which means Granger doesn't have to exert as much energy on both ends of the court. 'It definitely helps a lot,' Granger said. 'I don't get tired as much as I used to. It's a hard job chasing those guys around. I still end up defending them at some point in the game.'"

Paul Coro, Arizona Republic: "In a convoluted storyline layered with meanings lost in translation, Suns center Shaquille O'Neal is denying an interview that he probably didn't need to deny. From a transcript run Friday on a Sacramento Bee blog, O'Neal's comments were pulled and translated in Los Angeles and then nationally on an ESPN crawl. The "news" was that O'Neal had not ruled out a return to the Lakers when he is a free agent in 2010 and that Lakers coach Phil Jackson orchestrated O'Neal's tension with Kobe Bryant. Part of the problem was that O'Neal said Wednesday that he did not talk to anyone in Sacramento, where the Suns played last Friday — but the interview was done in the preseason in Phoenix by the Bee's Scott Howard-Cooper, a former Los Angeles Times writer whom O'Neal knows."

Chris McCosky, Detroit News: "Ben Wallace, who is playing a somewhat diminished role for the Cavaliers these days, barely recognizes his former Pistons team. 'It's strange coming in here now and this guy's not here any more, and that guy's not here and then a couple more guys are gone,' he said. 'The numbers keep getting smaller (of guys he played with here) and that is a little strange.' Wallace said, like everybody else, he was shocked when he heard the Pistons had traded Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess for Allen Iverson. He joked that all that was left was, 'the Big Three,' Hamilton, Rasheed Wallace and Tayshaun Prince. 'Their style of play has definitely changed,' Wallace said. 'They are forced to play a different style of basketball now. You get used to playing one way, then you've got to change the way you play toward the end of your career, I mean, I am sure it's been a little tough on them.'"

Michael Lee, Washington Post: "For a fleeting moment, it seemed that cocky swagger that has come to define the Washington Wizards in their annual journey through adversity had returned. A desperate, hard-luck team appeared set to pull out a gutsy road victory over the Atlanta Hawks on Wednesday night when DeShawn Stevenson dribbled toward the right baseline, gave Maurice Evans a slight nudge for separation, then drilled a jumper over him to give the Wizards a four-point lead with just more than a minute remaining. Stevenson waved his hand over his face, rookie JaVale McGee patted him on his backside and Stevenson then jumped into Caron Butler as a stunned Philips Arena crowd looked on. It was a premature celebration, because the Wizards don't have the Eastern Conference's worst record by mistake. They've earned it in a season that has been marked by fourth-quarter mishaps and an inability to close. And one minute proved to be too long for the Wizards to hang on, as Joe Johnson and Marvin Williams nailed back-to-back three-pointers to hand them a 91-87 defeat."

Charles F. Gardner, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: "Hey, the Milwaukee Bucks still haven't won in Utah since the 2001-'02 season. But the Bucks did have a decent chance Wednesday night, holding a 10-point, third-quarter lead before faltering in a 105-94 loss to the Jazz. 'Compared to the Denver game, it was a step up,' said Bucks center Andrew Bogut, who finished with 16 points and a season-high 20 rebounds. 'We came with intensity and played hard. But we still were making simple mistakes. We were so close, yet so far. Mental lapses for 4 or 5 minutes at a time absolutely cost us ball games.'"

Mark Murphy, Boston Herald: "The Celtics coach, asked yesterday about Knicks forward Quinton Richardson’s postgame complaints about the C’s perceived compunction for boastful talk, wrote part of the issue off to rivalry and the other to the source. 'This thing with the Knicks has been going on for a while now,' Rivers said. 'And Q has been in the middle of it. But a lot of teams talk to us, man. What I tell our guys is, 'You’ve proven what you can do, so just go out and do it.''"

John Denton, Florida Today: "What then will happen to Redick? Pietrus is the unquestioned starter when healthy and Keith Bogans has been Orlando’s best reserve. According to head coach Stan Van Gundy, rookie Courtney Lee is the Magic’s best on-ball defender on the perimeter. Then, there’s Redick, who is eager to learn his fate as it applies to the future. 'This was an opportunity presented because MP (Pietrus) was injured and whenever chances like this come I have to go out and earn my minutes,' Redick said. 'I hope I’ll get more chances like this.' Those chances were few and far between after Redick was pulled from Van Gundy’s rotation following a dreadful three-game start to the season."

Brian Lewis, New York Post: "As if their listless loss to LeBron James & Co. wasn't bad enough, Yi Jianlian strained his neck yesterday in practice. With every power forward on the roster banged up, the New Jersey Nets could start a pair of rookies tomorrow in Toronto. [...] 'Yi hurt himself in practice, strained neck. We'll know more [today],' said coach Lawrence Frank. 'He kind of jolted back. It must've been some sort of hit, and his head [went back]. It wasn't anything glaring.'"

SI.com: "Anthony Morrow can still walk without incident from his downtown hotel to the BART trains that sometimes take him to the Golden State Warriors' arena. Most of Oakland's famously enthusiastic hoops fans haven't yet put a face to the name that hit their favorite team's starting lineup like a thunderbolt last weekend. [...] Just a few weeks after Morrow was wondering whether he'd have to play in Ukraine this winter, he is Golden State's starting shooting guard. Corey Maggette and captain Stephen Jackson already see him as an equal, and coach Don Nelson is talking about building parts of his famed offense around Morrow. 'He's the real deal, and we haven't even learned how to play with him yet,' Nelson said. 'I told the team that we'd better know where this guy is at all times. We'd better get him open, because he looks like the real deal.'"

A look around the league and the web that covers it. It's also important to note that the rotation order and starting nods aren't always listed in order of importance. That's for you, dear reader, to figure out.

C: Weekend America, via kottke. Former Sonics fan John Moe files for fan free agency.
PF: InsideHoops.com. LeBron, Cleveland, Knicks, Jay-Z, free agent, championships, Nike ...
SF: WFNY. "At 9-2, we are seeing what looks like it could be the best team in Cavaliers history."
SG: Zoner Sports. Forget Yi, do you think Derrick Rose will make the All-Star game this season?
PG: Alana G. Hey, remember when I told Melas that "Shaq’s Twitter" was fake? Point for me.
6th: FirstCuts. Fila has dipped into their mid '90s basketball catalog to bring out the Grant Hill 2.
7th: Seattle Weekly. A short profile of Nathaniel Friedman/Bethlehem Shoals/Carlos Delfino.
8th: Bobcats Baseline. Blogger on 'Cats: "There's nothing to do but blow the whole thing up."
9th: SLT, via SLC D. Jerry Sloan never feels comfortable in a zone, thinks it's a gimmicky thing to do.
10th: Orlando Sentinel, via ShareBro Z. Maybe Marcin Gortat is not the Polish Dr. J after all? A hilarious video of "Air Gortat" at a German All-Star Game dunk contest in 2004, after the jump.

A little more from YSB contributor Nick Friedell, on-the-scene and in the locker rooms from Orlando ...

The Raptors proved yet again last night that you can't win a basketball game with just two players leading the way ... no matter how good they are.

Chris Bosh and Jermaine O'Neal combined for 56 points and 28 rebounds, but Toronto's supporting cast didn't do much else. There's no question in my mind that the Raptors are a much better basketball team with O'Neal in the fold, but in order to gain ground in the Eastern Conference, Sam Mitchell has got to find a way to get other members of the team to contribute on a consistent basis. Over the last four games, Bosh and O'Neal have combined for 175 points and 94 rebounds. Not coincidentally, Toronto is 1-3 during that span.

So is the team relying too much on Bosh and O'Neal to lead the way? The general consensus in the Raptors' locker room is no. "Chris didn't take but 16 shots," Mitchell pointed out afterward. "We've got 80 shots for the game, Jermaine took 12 ... we just didn't shoot the ball well as a team ... we just gotta have some other people play a little bit better."

O'Neal echoed his coaches' sentiments, but also believes the team will get back into a groove once Jose Calderon recovers from his hamstring injury. "[Calderon is] a guy that's gonna really push the ball, but make sure guys get in the right place, and make sure guys get in areas where they can score the basketball. We miss him, but Will [Solomon] and those guys are doing a good job, we just gotta take a little bit better care, as a team, of the ball."

When you turn the ball over 21 times, like the Raptors did on Tuesday night, it won't matter how points and rebounds Bosh and O'Neal, or anyone else can pour in.

*****

J.J. Redick made the most out of his first professional start last night by chipping in 10 points for the Magic. Redick's appearance in the starting lineup came as a surprise to almost everyone in the building, especially after four DNP-CD's over the course of the last two weeks. But, Stan Van Gundy gave the former Duke star a chance to shine, giving him a career-high 34 minutes of action, after deciding that Mickael Pietrus would sit out the contest with bruised ribs.

Even Redick seemed surprised that Van Gundy finally allowed him to stay in a game for more than just a couple of minutes. "I was joking with my little brother today, I said what's probably gonna to happen is I'll start the game, play three minutes, first TV timeout come out, and not play again," Redick said. "It felt good to just be out there playing, not worrying about minutes or anything like that, just being on the court ... it was nice."

*****

Even though the Raptors lost, Bosh's 40 point, 18 rebound was still the talk of both locker rooms last night. "The way he's playing, words can't describe," Mitchell said after the game. "It's not just scoring and rebounding, he's doing all the little things. He's getting on the floor, he's playing defense, he's passing the basketball, he's playing amazing."

The ACC's all-time leading scorer also heaped praise on the big man. "Bosh had a heck of a night," Redick said. "It's one of the best offensive nights I've ever seen."

The former Georgia Tech star always seems to enjoy playing against Dwight Howard and company. Coming into last night's game, Bosh was averaging almost 23 points and nine rebounds over his career against the Magic. "I guess [the Magic] just catch me at the wrong time," Bosh said. "I always say, against my friends [like Dwight], I always want to play my hardest basketball ... if we hang out, we have to hear each other's stories. Even if you're a friend, you still want to rub dirt in their face."

Towards the end of my conversation yesterday morning with Chris Bosh, I asked him if there was anything that he couldn't do on the court right now. "That I can't do?" he repeated just to make sure he had heard my question correctly. "Yeah," I said.

"Of course not." Bosh responded. "I can do everything. That's the attitude I take every time I step onto the court. I feel that I can do everything: play defense, play offense, shoot the ball, take it to the hole, shoot free throws ... everything really. I'm one of those kind of players."

As I watched him rack up 40 points and 18 rebounds, and almost single-handedly will the Raptors to a victory, I kept flashing back to that quote. Bosh really has become "one of those kind of players."

So how did this happen? How did the supremely talented Toronto star raise his game to the next level? I asked him if he could feel a difference in his game this season. "Yeah," he responded confidently. "I definitely feel a difference in my game, and just the mentality I take before every game. I tell people all the time I want to be the best player on the court, and I'm starting to do that every time. I want to do that every time. I don't take anything for granted when I step onto the court."

Unfortunately, for the rest of the NBA, it's clear that the happy-go-lucky kid from Texas doesn't joke around when it comes to his game ... like just about everything else.

Ball Don't Lie: Dwight Howard is starting up a website so that fans pick can help decide which dunks to attempt during All-Star Weekend. You're obviously very popular on the Internet, do you have anything up your sleeve this year that might help you get to Phoenix?

Chris Bosh: Not really. I haven't given it much thought. The season has really been like a whirlwind so far, so as I get used to [producing more Internet videos] I'll start to maybe develop something, go through the creative process, and hopefully get something started.

BDL: Speaking of videos, one of the clips that has become popular on your site recently is of you dancing to Busta Rhymes' Arab Money. Is that one of your new favorite songs, is that something you're listening to before the games?

CB: (Smiles) Nah, you know what happened, one of my friends was telling me about [the video] when [Busta] was with Westwood and it was so funny to me. I think for like that whole week that's all we were saying, that's all we were doing. Over and over and over. It was fun. I just saw that video (with Busta and Westwood), it looked like they were having a good time. I just so happened to be at the radio station a couple days later and I was like "Golly," I felt that I was kind of dry and I had to pick it up because Busta Rhymes, he has so much energy in his interviews, and they were fun to watch. My friend just so happened to be taping that, so we were just trying to have a good time.

BDL: Are you surprised that video caught on the way it did?

CB: Not really. I've built an expectation for every video that I've put out now. (Smiles) So I expect [a lot of hits] now. I'm more surprised when [the videos] don't do well. I'm kind of getting the sense for what people like to watch and what they like to see.

BDL: To that point, you really have become an internet sensation ... are you going to jump right into a tv career when playing days are over?

CB: (Laughs) I have no idea man. I want to try [television] out first. I haven't tried TV out yet.

BDL: But you did get Will Ferrell to admit in an interview that he has the heart of a lion.

CB: Yeah. (Laughs) He's silly. [Interviewing Ferrell] was a little easier than most people. He's a good sport with that.

BDL: Is he completely full of crap about the lion stuff?

CB: He's funny, man. I mean he's just funny. His humor is always on. Plus, I'm thinking [in the interview] that he was already in character a little bit before I talked to him, because he was already doing interviews that day for the movie that was coming out. It was fun interviewing him and everything, but TV, that's something I'll try out. I'm definitely open to trying and if it works out ... 

BDL: Out of all the videos you've done so far, which one is your favorite?

CB: The first one from All-Star Weekend last year. That kind of got everything started. That kind of got the creative videos started because I saw how that took hold and I had a lot of fun doing it. It made people laugh and everything, so I was like, Well, I think I'm going to keep doing it ... and try to have fresh ideas.

BDL: One of those ideas was to create a video in which you played Rocky's trainer, Mickey. Did you study all the Rocky movies to perfect that role?

CB: (Laughs) Yeah, I did. I actually looked at [all the Rocky movies]. I felt weird doing it, but it was funny. I was like, "I want this to be good." Of course, I've seen Rocky like a million times, each one, there were certain scenes that I was thinking of, so I got the DVDs and watched them. I saw what [Mickey] said and what he was doing, it was so funny to me. I was like, "OK, that's what I'm going to do."

BDL: Your nickname is CB4. Do you like it? Do you have another one?

CB: No, I don't have another one. That's one thing I never had growing up was a nickname. I always wanted a nickname, and then [CB4] just kind of took hold, and it was funny because I never really thought of CB4, I just picked the number four in college, then I could pick it when I got to the pros. So it's worked out for me.

BDL: If you had to decide between winning an NBA title or a gold medal, what would it be?

CB: It's a little harder because I have a gold medal now. (Laughs)

BDL: All right, let's say we were talking before you went to the Olympics in August.

CB: You know what, I'd go with the gold, man ... [The Olympics] is the world's stage. [A gold medal] is extremely hard to get. I know a [NBA championship] ring is hard to get too, but [there are] a lot less people with those gold medals.

BDL: If you had to pick one moment from your Beijing experience which one would it be?

CB: Being on that [medal] stand getting the gold medal. I've always loved sports since I was a kid. I remember when I really first started watching the Olympics was in '92 in Barcelona. But you know, I was a little bit too young to remember. But in '96, I remember I was in my grandma's house for the whole time [the Olympics] were going on. Of course I didn't have anything to do, so that's all I did, watch the Olympics when it was on. Anything that was on TV I watched it, and just to see those people on the stand all the time getting their medals ... and then I got a chance to do that, it was pretty cool.

BDL: Switching gears completely, a lot of people may not know that you played baseball in high school. Do you ever look back and wonder what might have been if you had kept playing the game?

CB: (Smiles) Nah, I mean it was kind of tough because we didn't have a good baseball team. I was a pretty decent player, but I was a decent player on a bad team. It wasn't like I was a decent player on a good team. I would have to have been in a top-notch organization for me to have that thought process. [Baseball] was just having fun. I had fun playing baseball and I enjoyed it.

BDL: Your girl heckled LeBron last year during a game and he went off for 24 points in the fourth quarter and ended up beating you guys. Do you still laugh about that with her, or have you tried to forget it ever happened?

CB: It's kind of old news. I just put it behind me. A lot of people get mixed opinions about that. I just wish we had won the game. Then it wouldn't be a big deal. [LeBron] really turned it on [at the end of that game]. LeBron's one of those guys, he's just so talented. If he feels that he has a challenge, he loves a challenge, he'll jump right into it. Most of the time he's going to do well.

BDL: So you're not going to have her heckle anybody this season.

CB: That's another story.

BDL: Is that a yes ... or a no?

CB: (Smiles) There will be none of that.

BDL: To wrap things up, speaking of LeBron he took some heat recently for admitting that he had some Barry Manilow on his Ipod.

CB: HAHAHAHA! That's funny.

BDL: Do you have anything on your Ipod that would surprise people?

CB: Nope. I don't have any Barry Manilow. Obviously I need to get my game up right now.

BDL: So there's really nothing on your Ipod that might make people wonder how the heck it got there?

CB: Maybe. I don't know. Not to me.

BDL: Nothing you'd admit though.

CB: No, nothing I'd admit. Somebody would have to go through (my Ipod) and be like "what the hell?"   

Cleveland 106, New Jersey 82

The Cleveland Cavaliers are first in the NBA in offensive efficiency right now.

I'll let that sink in a little bit, you might not want to buy it, it might not make sense that one of the ugliest and most frustrating offensive teams of the last four years is now pumping out the league's best offense, but that's what happens when something sick like LeBron James happens.

Nobody should be surprised by James' play, this is right in line with the expected growth from last year, when he out-scored, out-shot, out-rebounded, out-assisted, out-blocked and had a lower turnover ratio than the guy who was voted NBA MVP (they tied in steals, though James did on a slower-paced team). This is right in line with where he should be. And he should continue to be what he's been since the spring of 2007: the NBA's best player.

And his contributions, through the roof by most standards but maybe not as mind-boggling due to Cleveland's slow (24th in the NBA) pace, are what is driving this top-heavy Cleveland offense. That one that, somehow, is tops in the NBA. Yes, Mo Williams, blippity blah. Yes, Big Z still hits shots. Yes, Delonte. But Williams has actually played worse in Cleveland than he did in Milwaukee last year. This is on James.

31 points, eight rebounds, four assists, three turnovers and a block in 34 minutes in the win. And this was his easy night.

Los Angeles Lakers 116, Chicago 109

The Lakers lost because they're better than the Bulls, much better, and that isn't in doubt. But coming in second in the blame/praise column is the team's focus coming out of timeouts, deadballs, and quarters/halves. Los Angeles' play in the third quarter turned this into a blowout after it'd been a game for a while, and though Chicago came back, advantages built in the first and third quarters were too much to overcome.

Pau Gasol (34 points, 24 in the first half) built his initially, and then Kobe Bryant came out firing in the third quarter. The Bulls rallied behind Derrick Rose (25 points, nine assists, two turnovers), but Ben Gordon (6-22 shooting) never plays well in Los Angeles, and Luol Deng (4-10 shooting, nine points) has been left behind by Vinny Del Negro's offense.

Orlando 103, Toronto 90

What happens when your team loses a player who contributes 13.5 points, nine assists, and one of the best assist-to-turnover marks in the NBA?

You lose by 13. You only dish 12 assists as a team on 35 field goals. You turn it over a sickening 21 times, or on 24 percent of your possessions. Too simple? Too right. You know it.

The Raptors miss Jose Calderon, even if the shots aren't going in and he's not providing the direct assist, his ability to keep a live dribble and run things acts as the straw that stirs the offensive drink for Toronto, and they just didn't have enough in Orlando on Tuesday night. Toronto isn't giving up without JC, they played a tough game, but the talent just isn't there at the point guard slot.

Backup Will Solomon had seven turnovers and four assists, needing 13 shots to score 10 points. And Roko Ukic just isn't an NBA contributor. He missed six of eight shots and had two turnovers in 16 minutes to one assist. Chris Bosh's 40 points on 19 shots, 18 rebounds, four assists, three turnovers, two steals and a block (geesh) kept Toronto in it.

Orlando started J.J. Redick, and guess what? He tied for the team lead with a +20 mark. There are all sorts of factors that go into that stat, and it's not always the best representation of how well a guy does, but the number is there, take what you want from it. He had 10 points on 4-9 shooting and didn't turn the ball over in 34 minutes. Hedo Turkoglu turned it over five times, but his activity (22 points, seven assists) stirred a few drinks for the Magic.

Memphis 109, Sacramento 94

The Kings just can't be expected to compete with all these injuries, and when a guy like Rudy Gay (22 points and eight rebounds doesn't seem like much, but he was brilliant in the first half) is going off, you're lucky just to escape with a 15-point road loss. Especially when Bobby Jackson has to carry the offensive load for significant stretches.

And Tom Ziller? How dare he dispute some of my poorly-conceived hyperbole and bluster?

Indiana 113, Atlanta 96

We're in the test phase for the Hawks. They can't jump right back into the playoffs, we still have a little over five months to go before that, and they're going to have to go through the doldrums of an 82-game season just like everyone else. Also, if the Hawks are going to compete at all, Atlanta is going to have to play inspired defense just about every night. Because just playing up to form is going to leave the Hawks well short of .500 and out of the playoff bracket.

On Tuesday, they played to form, as it was during the home-and-home losses to the Nets. Atlanta's early win streak came because they were playing over their heads, but that is something that can be sustained. It's not typical, but it can happen if the effort is there. These guys need to get after it in the first quarter, and not let up. They have to work harder than other teams, because they're not as good as most other teams.

That wasn't there on Tuesday, and while a 17-point loss to an injured Pacer team may seem surprising now, it wouldn't be surprising to you way back in October, when you were wearing parachute pants and drinking New Coke. Or whatever we did back then.

Danny Granger has really left me more than surprised on his own this year, he's been reflexively great. I thought he was a nice wing player who stood still out on the perimeter and nailed a bunch of shots, while contributing the occasional drive and offensive foul. And you can't blame me for that, because that's all he did last season. Shoot the lights out and pick up charges.

This year, he's a full-on all-around force. With handle and touch and the ability to create new and different and potent shots. 34 points in 35 minutes for Granger in the win.

Golden State 111, Portland 106

I watched it early this morning, and I'll be honest, I have no idea what happened. So I'm off to watch again, and anyone with any questions can just hit up this afternoon's BDL Live Chat, which will take off around 3 p.m. or so.

Miami 94, Washington 87

A worrying game for both teams, for me at least.

The Heat continue to go away from Michael Beasley. I understand that he's a rookie on what is essentially a veteran team, a rookie who doesn't often make himself available for shot attempts in a way that Shawn Marion (a master at working off the ball and pouting a little bit) would appreciate, but the Heat have to involve this guy more often. For on and off-court purposes. And for the porpoises. Yes, he was in foul trouble, and the defense was iffy; but six shots and 15 minutes of play is not enough.

Meanwhile, the Wizards (who have played a grand total of three games this entire season, off memory) took in a pair of tres efficient games from Antawn Jamison (25 points on 15 shots, 12 rebounds, four assists, zero turnovers) and Caron Butler (21 points on 12 shots, 12 boards), that's not going to happen much, and they still lost at home to a Heat team that played well, but not that well.

19 points, 10 assists, six rebounds, five turnovers, two steals and three blocks for Dwyane Wade in the win.

Denver 114, Milwaukee 105

Good thing the Nuggets are starting defensive stalwart Dahntay Jones, otherwise Charlie Bell (25 points) may have had 45 for the Bucks on Tuesday.

A hot first half for Denver allowed the Nuggets to take it easy and rest the starters, and that's probably a good thing. Meanwhile, the win now-Bucks are 5-7, and Andrew Bogut took (and made) just one shot in 16 minutes. This cannot work.

What does work? Pickaxe and Roll and BrewHoop's takes.

Dallas 100, Charlotte 83

Charlotte needed a banked-in turnaround jumper, going over his right shoulder from the right block and into the paint, from Adam Morrison to make it to 10 points in the first quarter. And you know what? You're supposed to bank that in. Larry Bird did it. Sometimes it's good to hit a banker that goes over the front of the rim. I'm not being a prick, ‘ere. I promise.

The Bobcats stunk in this one, though. They made few second half runs but they had a truly tough time creating good shots, and Dallas just did what it could on the other end. The Mavs had 50 rebounds to Charlotte's 34, while Dirk Nowitzki (34 points) and Josh Howard (21) had another devastating performance. Made Bobcats cry.

Boston 110, New York 101

I'll say it. I think starting Brian Scalabrine in Kevin Garnett's absence was a little cruel and a little lame and quite wrong. To Leon Powe.

Doc Rivers might like Powe's work off the bench, but so what? He's young. He's not a KG-type that has to cap minutes at 34. Start him, sit the starters, leave Powe and his scoring acumen out there with the reserves. 14 and 7 in 28 minutes for Powe off the bench.

We're probably about to start going nuts about Wilson Chandler around here, but the guy had 23 points on 23 shots. He had seven rebounds in almost 39 minutes, but he just shoots a lot for a team that runs a lot.

Each weekday morning, BDL serves up a handful of NBA-related stories to digest with your Crispix. At least for now. We'll see how long this lasts.

Kyle Hightower, Orlando Sentinel: "Who said Polish guys can't jump? In a discussion with fellow Magic European-import Mickael Pietrus (originally from French Guadeloupe), Polish-born Marcin Gortat boasted after a recent practice his ability to dunk from the free-throw line — like Julius Erving. Doubtful of his skills, Pietrus bet Gortat an unspecified sum that he could, drawing a full post-practice audience that included several barefoot players and even Coach Stan Van Gundy. With a full-court run-up, the 6-11 Gortat successfully pulled off the dunk twice after the first one was disputed by Pietrus, who questioned his takeoff point. Said Gortat, as he walked into the locker room mobbed by teammates: 'I'll take my payment in Euros.'"

Jonathan Feigen, Houston Chronicle: "A day after Rockets guard Tracy McGrady said, 'Until further notice, I’m going to have to shut it down,' he was running through practice as if he never felt a shot of pain in Monday’s second half. McGrady said he was not certain he would play tonight against the Dallas Mavericks, but the chances have improved as much as his knee. He said he was 'hopeful' he could play, called the MRI that was planned and canceled 'not necessary' and did not describe himself as likely to stop playing entirely."

Jimmy Smith, The Times-Picayune: "Hornets All-Star guard Chris Paul has been surpassing records and milestones as fast as autumnal leaves fall, and each time he collects a steal in the next 12 games, he draws closer to the NBA mark for thefts in consecutive games. The record is held by former San Antonio Spurs guard Alvin Robertson, who had 105 consecutive games with a steal from Nov. 6, 1985, to Dec. 29, 1986. Paul ranks second with at least one steal in 93 games in a row. He passed Michael Jordan (77) in the final weeks of last season, and looks to build on the streak in tonight's game against the Sacramento Kings at the New Orleans Arena. Through nine games this season, Paul has 27 steals — an average of three per game — both best in the NBA."

Don Seeholzer, St. Paul Pioneer Press: "When it comes to shooting the ball, Mike Miller has a green light. More often than not this season, though, he has decided to proceed with caution. Timberwolves coach Randy Wittman would like to see that change, even if it means being a little less unselfish. After watching Miller take a season-low four shots, and make three, Sunday night in the Wolves' 90-84 loss at Denver, Wittman said he would like his shooting guard to start pulling the trigger more often. 'Sometimes you get into turning down shots to make the extra pass,' Wittman said Tuesday. 'Mike does all the right things, but at times he's got to be a little selfish, too, when he's got an open shot. I wouldn't want anybody else taking an open shot. Every time he shoots it, I think it's going in.'"

Mike Bresnahan, LA Times: "The NBA's all-time leading scorer has one word for Andrew Bynum — patience. Bynum has struggled with his shot and recently said he wanted to be more assertive once he got the basketball in the post. To paraphrase Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, it will happen in time. 'The offense is designed to spread it around, but if you're getting high-percentage shots in the post, they're of great value to a team,' said Abdul-Jabbar, in his fourth season as a Lakers' special assistant coach in charge of Bynum's development. 'It's a situation where he has to prove that he can deliver and then maybe the offense can look for him more than it is right now. He just has to be patient.'"

Ivan Carter, Washington Post: "Wizards forward Andray Blatche is in his fourth NBA season, yet the team continues to stress that he needs to get into better physical condition. Prior to last night's game, Coach Eddie Jordan was asked about Blatche's up-and-down play through the season's first seven games. 'We call it a dash and a flash but he's certainly not consistent right now,' Jordan said. 'From the time he got into the league, we've talked about his conditioning improving and he hasn't gotten to the point where it's where it should be, where he can sustain a high level of intensity and a high level of concentration.' Jordan said the team has created a modified workout program that has Blatche arriving for practice long before his teammates, in addition to added work in the weight room."

Ramona Shelburne, LA Daily News: "The buzzards aren't quite yet circling, but they might be making flight plans. That's what happens when a team opens the season 1-9, as the Clippers have. Every loss brings a handful of new phone calls from front offices around the NBA, wondering if they might be of any assistance in shaking things up. The Clippers generally tend to answer those phone calls and listen, but don't expect any major moves right away for two very important reasons. 'I think guys are honestly really committed to turning this thing around,' Clippers forward Marcus Camby said after practice Tuesday. 'We still feel like we have a chance to make the playoffs. It may seem bleak because of where we're at right now, but we still have 70-plus games to go.'"

Howard Beck, NY Times: "Jared Jeffries could be practicing in a week and back in the rotation soon. Jeffries received a positive report after his latest X-ray on Friday and said he expected to start running within days. Jeffries broke his left leg on the third day of training camp. 'I need to get another X-ray, and if it’s still healing the same way it is, with no pain the way it has been, then I should be good to go,' Jeffries said."

Paul Coro, Arizona Republic: "Suns coach Terry Porter planned to play eight or nine men per game this season but warned it would not be the same eight or nine. That has proven true, with him lately calling upon Louis Amundson and rookie Sean Singletary for important minutes. First-round draft pick Robin Lopez was the hailed big-man acquisition, but he has fewer appearances than the energetic Amundson. Singletary seemed bound for the NBA Development League when he was acquired in August, but Suns affiliate Iowa began camp without him Friday, when Singletary was running the Suns' point for the final six minutes of an overtime win at Sacramento. Suspensions and erratic rookie play from Lopez and Goran Dragic have given Amundson and Singletary the chances for which Porter told them to be ready."

Chris Tomasson, Rocky Mountain News: "If Nuggets center Nene doesn't make the All-Star Game, he won't complain. Nene is set to marry Lauren Prothe, of Fort Collins, on Valentine's Day, the day before the All-Star Game in Phoenix. Nene isn't listed on the All-Star ballot but could be named a reserve. 'I don't need to be thinking about that,' Nene said. 'This All-Star time, I'm going to be thinking about my wedding.'"

Kate Fagan, Philadelphia Inquirer: "It hasn't been a dream-like start for either the 76ers or up-and-coming backup guard Lou Williams. The Sixers are 5-5. Williams is shooting 35.7 percent from the field, 26.1 percent from the three-point line, and has 20 turnovers and 17 assists while averaging 9.3 points per game. 'I'm in a shooting slump,' said Williams, who signed a five-year, $25 million contract during the off-season. 'I guess that's what they call it. I've never been in one before. I think I got too caught up in my shot rather than creating things for my teammates. In seasons past, I opened things up for other people ... I have to get back to that.' Starting tonight at the Minnesota Timberwolves (1-8), the Sixers hit a valley in their schedule that includes four consecutive opponents with sub-.500 records. It is an ideal time for the Sixers to get above .500."

Frank Isola, NY Daily News: "Stephon Marbury's days as a Knick are drawing to a close, but the veteran point guard could survive until the new year. Knicks president Donnie Walsh has not given up on trading Marbury, who is scheduled to earn $21.9 million this season. Marbury is open to a buyout and has enlisted the help of the Players Association to negotiate with the Knicks. The two sides met last week, but no additional meetings are scheduled for this week, according to a person familiar with the talks. Walsh will not be rushed into making a decision, especially one that could cost the Knicks nearly $20 million. Another source believes that Marbury won't be released until Jan. 1 because Cablevision Systems Corp., which owns the Knicks, won't have to report the financial loss until 2009. A team source, however, insists that the decision to either trade or negotiate a buyout is Walsh's to make."

Orlando at Toronto

This is always a good matchup. It was great even a few years ago when Chris Bosh would come up with games like these on Dwight Howard, and it hit a new level last spring when the two young teams paired off in the playoffs, with a five-game series that everyone but Bill Simmons seemed to love.

Orlando won that series, in surprisingly handily fashion-ly. The Magic absolutely dominated the Raptors on the boards, forcing the Raptors to trade for some interior help the following summer to shore up their defense and rebounding. And while those two haven't exactly come around since Jermaine O'Neal, uh, came around; the Raptors have played quite well this season at times.

Still, they only have a 5-4 record to show for it. Meanwhile, the Magic have won seven of 10, as the squad's defense has been taken to another level.

Ten games on tonight, so fire away should you feel a fire coming on.

Orlando Magic: 7-3, 93 possessions per game (11th-most in the NBA), 106.5 points scored per 100 possessions (11th in the NBA), 100.3 points scored per 100 possessions (4th). I Can Feel the Fire.

Toronto Raptors: 5-4, 89.2 possessions per game (24th), 106.2 points scored per 100 possessions (13th), 106.4 points allowed per 100 possessions (19th). Pool Hall Richard.

Shocker:

Bigger shocker:

Taken at two seperate games, though I'm sure you assumed as much.

I had to cringe last weekend when I read Phil Mushnick's column about the attendance problems that some NBA teams are having. He reports that at a recent New York-Memphis game in Tennessee, an eyewitness said there were only about 4,000 people in the stands to see the two teams play. Mushnick also believes that by next spring we will be hearing/seeing stories about how some NBA (and NHL) teams are close to suspending operations because of larger financial troubles.

I wish I could refute his thinking, but, I actually agree with him.

I have watched NBA games throughout my entire life and I don't ever remember seeing this many empty seats in arenas all over the league. I've covered several games in Orlando during the early part of the season, and there are always plenty of good seats to be had. What surprises me more than anything, though, is the general lack of enthusiasm from some of the crowds. For the most part, the crowds I've seen at Magic games are flatter than a pancake. Sure, there are some exciting moments, and, if asked, the fans are usually willing to get out of their seats and cheer. But, if it wasn't for the noise blaring from the speaker system, you would be able to hear Stan Van Gundy barking out orders on almost every possession.

The scary part for David Stern and company is that Orlando has a booming fan-base compared to that of the Sixers and Grizzlies. Those teams rank 28th and 30th, respectively, on the NBA's attendance list. The Grizzlies have been bad for several years now, but the Sixers have a young team, that added Elton Brand in the off-season, so why are they struggling so badly to draw a crowd?

The financial crisis has had an impact on all professional sports teams in some way, but it sure feels like the NBA may have been hit harder than anyone over the last couple of years. Just two seasons ago, the league broke its own attendance record ... now you read stuff like Mushnick's column.

What happened?

When you look at the attendance figures one thing is clear: fans want to see a winner. The Magic (ranked 20th, after six home dates) are the only team in the bottom third of the chart that has a winning record. Winning would cure a lot of teams' concerns, but I don't think that is the overriding problem.

I just think the NBA game has gotten stale in a lot of markets.

When I go to games, even ones that are packed in other cities, I don't see a lot of fans decked out in their team's gear, I see a lot of yuppie businessmen who have decided that the NBA game is the place to be seen. They could care less what happens on the court, as long as they can glad-hand the rest of the "important" people.

David Stern's not an idiot, he can see all of this. That's why if I were the commish, I would do exactly what Jerry Colangelo did when he was trying to figure out how to re-create the U.S.A. basketball team. The former Suns' executive rounded up a panel of basketball legends to brainstorm ideas on how to turn the national program around. The foundation of the Americans gold medal winning performance in Beijing was laid at that meeting.

While Stern would certainly face a much larger task, the input from a panel of NBA experts: players, coaches, marketing people, etc. couldn't hurt. The league has got to find a way to get more fans interested in the game, because if they don't, a few thousand empty seats are going to become the least of its worries.

I'm late to this news, but hey, that's what happens when one starts getting artsy-fartsy with Yao Ming, tassels and good ol' Photoshop. Rome wasn't built in a day, people, and neither was that picture. In fact, that's two weeks worth of work right there. I'm slow with the magic wand.

ANYWAY, a few weeks ago, the University of Hong Kong announced on its website that it will award NBA star Yao Ming an honorary doctorate in social sciences for his long-term devotion to global AIDS prevention and cure and the great contributions he has made. HKU explains The Gentle Giant's work:

Mr. Yao has made outstanding contributions in HIV/AIDS advocacy, appearing with Magic Johnson on commercials to support the prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS, and taking part in various activities on the Mainland, such as visiting children living with the disease. He has helped fight the social and cultural stigma associated with HIV/AIDS with his positive attitude and participation in the prevention and treatment of the disease, and continues to advocate action, care and full integration of people living with HIV/AIDS. In September 2008, Yao was presented with the "Award for Outstanding Contributions to the AIDS Response" by UNAIDS, the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS.

Former US president Bill Clinton and medical professor David Ho will also receive honorary degrees. The three recipients will be awarded their honorary doctorates at a 2009 graduation ceremony in Hong Kong.

Congrats Dr. Yao!

The BDL NBA Power Rankings combine two parts Chivas Regal with one part flippant observation to create the most unbalanced ranking possible, and to offer the least accurate look at the state of the NBA on a weekly basis. If you disagree with your team's spot, feel free to go crazy in the comments or spit venom via email.

1. Los Angeles Lakers — One always had the hint that Arron Afflalo was Los Angeles' kryptonite. The Lakers are now on pace to only win 72 games. The dream is over, people. What can I say? [KD]

2. Boston Celtics — Kevin Garnett: "You can look at our record, but we still have a long way to go." Um, not true, Kevin. Saturday's OT battle in Milwaukee was the Celtics' 68th game in the last 12 days. They're almost done. [JE]

3. Phoenix Suns — Things are too good. Something's going to happen. Steve Nash is going to rob something, or someone. Grant Hill is going to default on a loan. Shaq's going to turn out to be a bloody Bolshevik. They're going to break our hearts. You know it. I like their defense (14th), though. [KD]

4. Cleveland Cavaliers — "LeBron James scored 38 points, leading a second-half rally that gave the Cleveland Cavaliers their seventh straight victory ..." That has to be the Associated Press's go-to line. I bet they use it to pick up chicks at the bar. Also, "LeBronco James":

5. Detroit Pistons — It is a repudiation of all that is sane and civil that Kwame Brown is starting over Amir Johnson. At least Amir's per-minute stats are better. We'll always have the per-minute stats, Amir. Always. [KD]

6. New Orleans Hornets —I've watched the Bees play three or four times this season, and I still have no idea what to make of them. I am flummoxed. One quarter they're dominant, the next quarter they get pushed around a little bit and start playing the refs. Ranking them sixth seems too high and low at the same time. [JE]

7. Atlanta Hawks — Hey, remember when the Hawks were on pace to win 82 games? Man, those were the days. Back when shows had great theme songs and my dad had a neckbeard. [JE]

8. Houston Rockets — When I wrote "rusty bunch of geezers," I meant "tempestuous batch of all-world talents and Aston-driving basketball mercenaries, several of which boast a Victor Mature-like sense of cool and whimsy, even at their most droll." Obviously, both Noel Coward and Carl Landry are standing directly in back of me. [KD]

9. Portland Trail Blazers — The worst defensive team (29th) that nobody knows about ... wait, I'm sorry, did someone order a 7-footer with skills? [KD]

10. Orlando Magic — The Magic Men were the only squad in the league last season with a better record on the road (27-14) than at home (25-16), and we could be looking at a repeat performance. Their moms must suck at cooking. Sloppy Joes and crap like that. [JE]

11. Utah Jazz — One of these days, mister, they're gunna get the whole gang back together and, you wait. Yeah, you wait. Also, minus the Afghan Whigs t-shirt, Kosta Koufos looks like me from October 1994-November 1994. Then I got the haircut right. The skin took a while. [KD]

12. Philadelphia 76ers — It is beyond comprehension. You even take pictures of your hotshot free agent pickups in the uniform. Just go back to the old unis, already. Stop making this harder than it has to be. What would Steve Mix say? [KD]

13. Toronto Raptors — Calderon's out, and you know Darrick Martin is circling the parking lot, like a vulture, trying to guess which car is Will Solomon's.

(Everybody knows Will Solomon can't afford a car!) [KD]

14. Denver Nuggets — 25th in offense, 6th in defense. Yes, I'm back on that thing again. [KD]

15. New York Knicks — Actual "MSG Mic Check" with Coach D'Antoni Sunday night: "C'mon defense, let's go. Let's go guys! Go! Here we go, here we go, guys. Here we go! Here we go, here we go. Way to go, Zach! Here we go white, here we go white. Here we go white." Awesome. [JE]

16. Chicago Bulls — My girlfriend had to tell me to shave the thin little mustache, and she told me she knew exactly why I was growing it. [KD]

17. Miami Heat — Win, loss, win, loss, win, loss, coach was in CHiPs.

18. Milwaukee Bucks — "While the Bucks' 5-6 record isn't going to turn many heads in L.A. or New York, it's tough to complain given what they're up against: an obscene eight back-to-backs in the first month, 12 of the first 19 on the road, and seven games and counting without Michael Redd." Frank Madden. Boom! [JE]

19. New Jersey Nets — A young man blocks out harmful memories of weak ankles and significant events of his life. As he grows up, he finds a way to remember these lost memories and a supernatural way to alter his life and win two games over the Hawks. "The Harris Effect," starring Devin Harris. [JE]

20. Indiana Pacers — The Pacers are actually outscoring their opponents by two a game, which puts them at 13th in the NBA, which means they're better than their record. And yet, six years after it hit the internet, nothing's better than this record. [KD]

21. San Antonio Spurs — Monty Williams has been annoying his family for weeks, stepping outside of restaurants to check his voicemail, and driving circuitous routes in order to stay in cell phone range. He thinks the call is coming. He thinks Pop is going to need him. He's really not as deluded as you think. [KD]

22. Golden State Warriors — If you have five dollars and undrafted free agent Anthony Morrow has five dollars, undrafted free agent Anthony Morrow has more money than you. [JE]

23. Sacramento Kings — The Kings are horrible. The team is a mismatched batch of parts that shouldn't fit, couldn't fit, and (eventually) won't fit. The team competed like mad all last season. The squad's offense, while iffy, is at least innovative and trying new things. The team is fun to watch. The team entertains the fans. The team works hard. The team is injured. The team has no singular focus off the court. The team has a singular focus on the court. The team should be worse than it is. And you want to fire the coach of this team? [KD]

24. Dallas Mavericks — Sigh. [JE]

25. Charlotte Bobcats — At least three times this season, 68-year-old coach Larry Brown has told his team to stop playing like Laverne and Shirley. Funny line, except "Laverne and Shirley" was a situation comedy that ABC cancelled in 1983. Nine of Brown's players weren't born yet. [JE]

26. Memphis Grizzlies — Once again, it's time for Matt Moore's Griz Semi-Chub. Take it away, good sir ... "The best part about following the Grizzlies is that no matter the score, the fourth quarter will be exciting. They always seem to close the gap. The worst part about following the Grizzlies is that no matter the score, they're probably going to lose, often in profoundly frustrating ways." [JE]

27. Washington Wizards — You just get the feeling that if Chris Whitney were around, none of this crap would be going down. [KD]

28. Minnesota Timberwolves — See: Grizzlies, Memphis.

29. Los Angeles Clippers — This team doesn’t play to expectations, however small. This team cannot rebound, in spite of two guys who had double-figure boards last year. This team is full of mercurial, flighty guys who need coddling (players that were acquired with both coach and front office knowing that they were mercurial, flighty guys who need coddling), who instead receive stern lectures in the press as a result. This team has played at home, a lot. This team loses, a lot. And this team wants to keep its coach? [KD]

30. Oklahoma City Thunder — "PJ Carlesimo is definitely a great hire if you're looking for someone to lose games, alienate fans and insult your city. If not, though, you might want to go with a guy who players respect." Sound advice. Embrace the comments, people. [JE]